Final Thoughts

In this final episode, Wendy goes over some coping skills that she's adopted over the years.  Perhaps, they will help you too!



-- Be sure to check out Wendy's debut novel, Involuntary Hold. It's a story of self-discovery set on the psych ward. It's available on Amazon and Audible --

** Remember if you, or a loved one, is in emotional crisis... Help is just a phone call away. Simply dial 9-8-8 for the Suicide and Crisis Hotline, or text "HOME" to 741741 to chat with someone via text 24/7 across the United States. **

Please contact us at bipolarforlife@myyahoo.com with any questions, suggestions, or comments.

Transcript

Bipolar for Life

Ep 10/S2-Final Thoughts

Good evening and welcome to “Bipolar for Life.” I’m your host, Wendy Foard, and I’ve managed to live with bipolar disorder for 44 years now. It hasn’t always been pretty, but I’ve survived several suicide attempts, four psychiatric hospitalizations, and one disastrous trip to rehab. Yet, I’m still here!

Let me say up front that I am NOT a medical doctor. I am simply a seasoned manic-depressive trying to help others survive this deadly mental illness through shared information and experiences.  

As we discuss issues, please remember that I am speaking from my own experience; your bipolar experiences may be entirely different. Yet, I suspect highly that we have more in common than not.

Tonight, is the final episode of Bipolar for Life. We have discussed many bipolar issues together, and I’ve learned many things. I hope you found at least one crumb of information that was interesting over the past 19 episodes. Although we could go into issues in more depth, I believe we have covered bipolar disorder fairly well: from suicide and medications, to therapies and bipolar psychosis.

I worried, and thought, and pondered, “What should I do for my last Bipolar episode?” “How should I end this show?” And I kept coming to one subject: Coping. But I didn’t want to give you a list of coping skills that are so general, they are no help at all. Instead, I want to give you the advice I’ve gleaned from years of trial and error. Hell, I’m still trying and still making errors; but I never give up— And neither should you!

For me, the hardest part of being bipolar is the constant debate inside my head when I’m trying to go to sleep. Well, actually, it’s only one of the things that I find difficult to live with, but it’s a starting point. 

The never-ending battles that are waged in my mind every night didn’t allow for good, restful sleep.

The same old debate over whether what I’ve done through the day was good enough for the powers that be. The debate over whether to hold my tongue or say what I mean. Or even, the incessant debate over whether I’m too fat. 

But how do you keep those “things” from whirling around in your mind when everything gets quiet at night? 

I tried listening to music while going to sleep. I enjoyed it very much but found that I got little or no sleep, tapping my foot to each song. It became a slumber party, of sorts. So…That was no good. 

Next, I tried one of those relaxing noise makers that play the sounds of gentle waves, chirping frogs or a crackling fire in the background. The water made me feel like I had to pee; the frogs were annoying, and the crackling fire made me paranoid. So…That, too, was no good.

I knew I had to distract my mind somehow, so it would shut up! But how? 

One day, I was in my local library, and saw the racks of books on tape. There were a surprising number of books available! I had heard that people liked to listen to these on long drives, so I thought I’d try one on my commute. As luck would have it, I became so enamored of the story I was listening to; I took it to bed with me that night. I hit play, and a beautiful voice began reading me a story in the dark. As the resonant voice filled the room, I realized that for the first time since I could remember; I didn’t hear any debates! All I could hear was the excellent tones of the reader enthralling me with a suspenseful tale—Nothing berated me about my weight, nothing screamed about how I screwed up at work, nothing but the dulcet tones of a professional voice lulling me to sleep… And my life was forever changed!

Books on tape cover almost every type of story you can imagine: Romance, horror, non-fiction, mysteries, you name it; they got it! Audible is a good place to find books on tape. In fact, my book Involuntary Hold is available on Audible; read by the very talented Hedy Parks. But they have thousands of titles there.

I also suggest checking out your local library. It’s free and they may have just what you’re looking for. I’ve discovered some remarkable readers and some fabulous books because of books on tape in the library. If you are trying to catch up on your reading, this is a great way to do it. 

Now, if having stories read to you is not your thing, then I’d like to suggest listening to the old-time radio shows at night. Yes, those old shows from the 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s. Some of our greatest stars became well known because of radio: Jack Benny, Orson Welles, Jimmy Stewart, William Conrad, and Bob Hope, to name only a few. 

I don’t suggest listening to the comedies as you go to sleep. You’ll end up laughing your night away! But the dramas, cop shows, and suspense shows all have exceptional acting. I think you’ll find that the old-time stars were famous for a reason! 

A good place to go for old radio shows is archive.org. They not only have old-time radio shows, but they also have music and TV archives. This is a free site and I listen to them all the time. My secret pleasure at night is the CBS Radio Mystery Theater from the 70’s. I look forward to going to bed because of this radio show!

People ask if it keeps me awake listening to such great stories, but it doesn’t. I know I can re-listen the next night! So, I listen until I fall asleep, then start with the last thing I remember the following night. That way, I don’t miss anything. 

Now, seems like the appropriate time to mention that sleep truly is imperative to maintaining a decent mood. Getting a good night's sleep is important to people without bipolar disorder but is especially important to those with the malady. 

The National Sleep Foundation recommends 7 to 9 hours of sleep a night for an adult. Sleeping less than 7 hours per night, on a regular basis, has been linked to adverse health issues, including:

·     Weight gain and obesity

·     Diabetes

·     Hypertension

·     Heart disease and stroke

·     Depression, and an

·     Increased risk of death

And that’s what happens to a “normal” person who doesn’t sleep for at least 7 hours regularly. For people with bipolar disorder, not sleeping is the quickest way to a mood episode, on top of the aforementioned illnesses. 

So, if you are struggling with bipolar disorder, do your level best to stick to a bed-time routine. There will be days when you sleep less (mania) and days when you sleep more (depression), but you should always try to go to bed at the same time each night.

You also want to try to get up at the same time each day. I realize that this is easier said than done, but if you can get yourself on a regular sleep/wake schedule, you’ll find that your moods are more stable, and you have more energy. It’s really true, so make 7 to 9 hours of sleep a night a priority in your life! 

I’d like to suggest that there are signs to watch for with the onset of an impending mood episode. Signals that your body and mind send ahead of a full-blown episode. Some signs of an impending episode are:

·     Mood instability

·     Irritability

·     Racing thoughts

·     Appetite changes—increased or decreased

·     Sleep issues

For me, I get “happy feet” just before, or during, a manic episode. My knee bounces uncontrollably and without my consent. So, I watch for my bouncing knee to warn me of mania. 

The depressive clue to myself is my exaggerated interest in horror. I love the genre, but I crave it when I’m starting a depressive mode. All I want to watch are horror movies or read horror books. It sometimes takes me a while to realize that my volume of horror has increased, but when I do, I know that I’m headed into the darkness. 

There are some other lesser-known signs of an impending mood episode, including:

·     Impulsive or inappropriate behavior or speech,

·     Grandiosity, or feeling special or better than others

·     Increased sexuality

·     Difficulty concentrating

·     Loss of interest in everyday activities

·     Feelings of emptiness, worthlessness, guilt or despair

·     Pessimism

·     Self-doubt

·     Delusions, hallucinations or disturbed thinking

If any of the above begins happening to you, reach out to your mental healthcare provider. Your doctor can help you manage a mood episode, but they have to know it's happening. 

In fact, my next tip for bipolar living is maintain a good relationship with your doctor, or mental healthcare provider. Communication is key, so tell your doctor the truth! Tell them how you feel physically, and what you’re thinking mentally. Armed with this information, they can make an informed decision on how best to treat you. 

Usually, this involves medications, and communication is exceedingly important when trying new meds. If you notice anything unusual when taking psych meds for the first time, you need to report it to your doctor. For example, I began tasting the inside of a rusty pipe in my mouth after taking a new medication for a couple of weeks. I tried to get rid of it by drinking more, using gum and mints, but it wouldn’t go away. I finally told my psychiatrist, and it turns out that I had gone toxic on the medication, so we stopped it immediately. 

So, maintaining good communication with your mental healthcare provider is an important part of your bipolar life. Together, you are a team managing a difficult disorder. The more honest you are about your condition, the more your doctor can help you. 

Here, I’d like to remind you to take your medications religiously. Don’t stop taking them or change the dosage without telling your doctor, for that can really mess you up! Most of the psychiatric drugs take time to get into your system and to a therapeutic level. Stopping them abruptly can cause you to go into withdrawal. The symptoms you will have depend on what type of medication you are taking. For example, abruptly stopping antidepressants will cause:

·     Anxiety

·     Depression and mood swings

·     Dizziness and balance problems

·     Electric shock sensations

·     Fatigue

·     Flu-like symptoms

·     Headache

·     Nausea

·     Nightmares

·     Tremors, and

·     Trouble sleeping

And that’s just antidepressant withdrawal. You’ll get different withdrawal symptoms with mood stabilizers and antipsychotics as well. So, it’s NEVER a good idea to just stop taking your meds; you’ll only make yourself sick. 

Now, that is not to say that if you miss a dose, you’ll get sick. Most psychiatric drugs stay in your system for at least 24 hours, so if you miss meds one day, it won’t hurt you. Just take the next dose at the regular time. But, it’s never a good idea to change anything about your medications without telling your doctor first. They can save you a great deal of needless suffering. 

Personally, I’ve never understood not taking the meds. If you have been on the same streets of Hell that I have, you too would avoid it at all costs—Even if that means taking pills for the rest of your life! At least, that’s why I take the meds… I just don’t want my address to be somewhere in Hell for the rest of my life.

Speaking of the Hell bipolar disorder puts you through, I’d like to suggest that you find yourself a good therapist you can talk to. Yes, I really do think that therapy, specifically Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a real asset to anyone with bipolar disorder. Here is a place to unburden yourself. A place to drop all that unnecessary baggage. A place to get rid of the guilt, the fear, and anxieties that we all swallow in order to get through our day. 

The best advice I can give regarding therapists is find one that you feel comfortable with so you can speak freely about issues. Without mutual trust, therapy really can’t begin, so it’s vital that you find someone with whom you can talk openly. I know it’s hard when you only get to see them on appointment days, but you can usually tell within the first couple of sessions if you feel comfortable or not. If not, find someone else! Therapists understand that you are trying to find the right person. Just let them know when it’s your last session. 

Remember, therapy only works if you tell the truth. It may be hard, but once you’ve found a therapist, it’s time to tell the truth. Don’t hold anything back because you’re afraid that they’ve never heard of your issues before…believe me, they have! We are all human, and the one thing we share in common is emotion. So, share how you feel with your therapist, and let them help you process emotions differently. 

There’s something that we need to talk about, but it’s a touchy subject…extracurriculars. Alcohol and marijuana are the usual suspects when it comes to self-medicating. We all know that abstinence is the best policy—we are not to indulge in the before dinner joint or that after work drink. Yet, in all the literature that I’ve seen, the pundits say, minimize your intake of intoxicants. They don’t come right out and say abstain completely. 

Therefore, I quote from a doorway at the oracle of Delphi as my advice regarding extracurriculars—“Nothing in excess.” 

Be mindful that these extra substances can mess up your psychiatric meds, and it may take time to get them back to a therapeutic level once the party is over. The question becomes how much you want to pay, beyond the hangover, for your good time. Again, I suggest “Nothing in excess.” 

I, myself, rarely drink exactly because of what it does to my meds, and the ensuing mood swing that follows. I find that my bipolar rage likes to poke its ugly head out when I’m drinking, so I don’t drink. 

I smoke upon occasion but, that too, I try to keep to a minimum. Although marijuana doesn’t seem to mess up my meds as much as alcohol and other substances. Yet, I must tell you, smoking pot is associated with a higher incidence of psychosis. 

Partying, ultimately, comes at a high cost for those with bipolar disorder, and my sincere recommendation is to stay away from the extracurriculars. Don’t you think we’ve got enough brain chemistry issues without adding substances to the mix? 

If you do indulge, please have the guts to tell your doctor and your therapist! They need to know if you’re using or drinking. It will explain a lot to them if you come clean. It affects your brain chemistry, so your doc needs to know that’s part of the mix. It may be hard to admit, but remember, your doctors are there to help you, not throw you in jail! So, have the guts to tell the truth about your substance use. You’ll be glad you did. 

Anyway, the last thing I want to say tonight to all those listening—whether it’s because you’re bipolar or have a loved-one who is bipolar—please remember this above all else… The mood will always change! It doesn’t stay that way forever…although; it feels like you will always remain in the clouds, or be forever lost in the dungeon, but it will change! You just have to hang on long enough for your brain to begin the readjustment. 

Again, communicate with your doctor when things begin to change for you. They can adjust your meds so that your mood swing is not as severe as it would be on its own. 

Remember, NOTHING remains the same. And neither do our moods… The feelings you have will change! The pain, the guilt, the shame, the exhilaration, the epiphanies, and the grandeur… it will all change! Just wait for it. The change will come, like death; just wait long enough for it. It will happen. No need to check out early!

If you find yourself, or a loved-one, feeling like you want to check out of this world, then please reach out for help. You can go to your local emergency room and let them know you are in a mental health crisis, or you can call 9-8-8 and talk to someone at the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. They are available 24/7, 365 and are ready to help. They even speak Spanish! Or, if you’d rather not get that personal, you can chat with a crisis counselor via text. Just text H-O-M-E to 741741 and find the help you need. You’ll be glad you did!

For those of you living outside the United States, I finally have some helpful information. The International Association for Suicide Prevention has a directory of crisis centers and helplines for over 50 countries! 

Just go to the internet and type in:

      findahelpline.com/i/iasp

And it will bring you to a drop-down menu where you can input your country and region, and it will give you the information for your location. Granted, it doesn’t cover everywhere, but it’s a start!

Again, that’s:

       findahelpline.com/i/iasp

I can’t thank you enough for joining me over the past eleven months. It has been a blast, and I’ve learned so much. 

Thank you, again, for being a part of this podcast, and as always, be safe in all your travels. Until we meet again…farewell, my friends. This is Wendy Foard signing off for “Bipolar for Life”—Good night.