Rapid Cycling

In this first episode, Wendy discusses both poles of the bipolar spectrum as they relate to the experience of rapid cycling in bipolar disorder.

Wendy's novel on psychiatric hospitalizations is out on Amazon! It's called "Involuntary Hold." Check it out~ There is a plot twist you won't see coming!



International Helpline Info

For those living outside the United States, I finally found some helpful information. The International Association for Suicide Prevention has a directory of crisis centers and helplines for over 50 countries! 

Just got to the internet and type in:

      findahelpline.com/i/iasp

 And it will bring you to a drop-down menu where you can input your country and region, and it will give you the information for your location. Granted, it doesn’t cover everywhere, but it’s a start!

** Remember if you, or a loved one, is in emotional crisis... Help is just a phone call away. Simply dial 9-8-8 for the Suicide and Crisis Hotline, or text "HOME" to 741741 to chat with someone via text 24/7 across the United States. **

Please contact us at bipolarforlife@myyahoo.com with any questions, suggestions, or comments.

Transcript

Bipolar for Life

EPISODE ONE: Rapid Cycling 

Tonight, I thought we could talk about something that isn’t discussed much but is often a reality for someone with bipolar disorder—Rapid Cycling. 

I chose this topic to begin the series, for I am currently rapid cycling, (so, it’s fresh in my mind), and it allows us to talk about both ends of the bipolar spectrum at the same time. 

 If you look up rapid cycling, the medical community defines it as four, or more, episodes of mania or depression within a 12-month period. If there are four or more mood changes within a month, it’s called ultra-rapid cycling. And that’s where I find myself today… ultra-rapid cycling.

Currently, I’m in a manic phase, and I usually enjoy this side of the disorder a great deal… 

Hell, mania is everyone’s favorite! You don’t need to eat or sleep because you have so much energy. 

Plus, all the colours are brighter, nothing is impossible, and you truly have love for your fellow man.

 It’s a wonderful place to visit, but you can’t live there… Your body burns out.

Burnout begins with no sleep. For example, I haven’t slept more than an hour or two each night for the past month, and I’m starting to feel the effects—short-term memory loss, slow motor function, and foggy thinking. 

Yet, the artistic ideas keep on coming, and it’s all I can do to write them down. I could never complete them all! Ever had this happened to you? 

There are actually many manifestations of mania, and we may not exhibit all of them at once, but we will have some combination of these symptoms: 

1)  Not sleeping, which is the most common sign. This is an “awake” beyond insomnia. This is, do your best to ride the energetic tidal wave without wiping out! It’s powerful…

2)  Not eating because you’re just not hungry. Besides, eating takes precious time away from whatever it is that you’re busy doing.

3)  Agitation, irritability, and emotional intensity are also hallmarks of mania. The agitation and irritability generally rise from frustrations that things aren’t going according to plan. Emotional intensity is increased 100 fold in both annoyance, as well as cheerfulness. Intense merriment is difficult for people to handle, for it seems forced and creepy.

4)  Inability to concentrate is in direct correlation with the speed at which the manic mind moves. One thought is so quickly followed by another, that they jumble up. Impulses come and go just as quickly. 

5) Rapid thoughts and speech. It’s all your mouth & mind can do to keep up with frenetic energy racing through you.

6)  Spending more money than usual. I’m guilty. I don’t know why, but I do spend loads more money when I’m manic than when I’m depressed. 

7)  Increased intake of drugs or alcohol. I have a theory about this one… I know it to be true, but you don’t get the buzz you were looking for. Your brain is already high, and running at top speed, so nothing you do will make it any higher. You drink or smoke more, looking for your usual enjoyment but it’s to no avail. It’s wasted on the manic brain.

8)  Increased libido. People can get into a lot of trouble with this one, for impulsive actions increase in mania as well. The combination can be life changing.

9) Increase in “driven” activity. This is a hard one to control for you have no choice! You have to do whatever has your attention. There is no other way! It’s imperative.

There is a scary component to mania as well… the possibility of hallucinations. I don’t know if they are caused by the lack of sleep, or chemical changes in the brain, but they seem so real!  

Just a couple of days ago, I saw a brown bird fly through the kitchen and into the living room. It flew right past me… 

and alighted on a bookshelf. I asked others in the room if they had seen it, but they were on their phones.

 I couldn’t understand how they’d missed a brown bird swooping around the room, but I also couldn’t figure why the bird never moved after landing. 

It didn’t dawn on me, until someone actually suggested it, that the bird may have been a hallucination. But how could it be? It was so freakin’ real! 

Hallucinations can happen in depression as well, but they are more prevalent in the manic phase. Have you ever knowingly seen a hallucination? Or was it only after the fact that you figured it out?

 Please share your experiences with a note to bipolarforlife@myyahoo.com.

Full-blown manic episodes are likely to send you to the psychiatric hospital, just as quickly as a deep depression. Mania is fun for a while, but we pay a heavy price for that moment in the sun!

And we’re back… The next topic for discussion, depression, I have to admit to procrastinating in working on. For me, depression is the 12-thousand-pound gorilla in the room. I have more significant scars from this side of the bipolar pendulum than from the other. So, I pause before entering its house...

 SFX Door Creak

Depression, like mania, has many faces. We’ll just talk about some of the most common symptoms. You have to have these symptoms for at least two weeks before you’re considered depressed. For example…

1) A lasting sad, anxious or “empty” mood. This emptiness often combines with loneliness to create true despair. 

2) Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness. You know something is wrong, but you are powerless to change it, or you feel guilt over every little thing you’ve ever done wrong. The weight of all that guilt is ponderous and crushing!

3)  Increased anger or irritability. Everything gets on your nerves, even your loved ones! We are harder on the ones we love, because we know they will most likely forgive us.

4) Becoming withdrawn, negative, or detached. I tend to isolate myself when I’m depressed. I know I’m irritated, and I don’t want it to rub off on others. I also have a tendency to watch more horror movies than normal, and I’m a lover of the genre. 

5) Increase in engagement of high-risk activities. Such as driving down a country road at high speeds with no lights on at night, or playing Russian Roulette. Amounts to the same thing… You have a latent desire for death, but not enough courage to do it yourself yet. 

6) Increased use of drugs and alcohol. Now, in depression, you drink for an entirely different reason than when in mania. When depressed, you drink or use drugs to dull the psychological pain accosting you, not to get “happy.”  

The psychological pain one suffers can sometimes only be relieved by physical pain.  That’s why people cut themselves.. it relieves the torment for a little while, by concentrating your thoughts on some other pain.

7) Inability to meet the of work and family, or ignoring other important roles. It’s not so much ignoring them, as it is unable to cope with them. As your thoughts and reaction times slow down, it’s harder and harder to process day-to-day demands. 

8) Thoughts of death and suicide, or suicide attempts. This is where the cheese gets binding… At first, these thoughts are fleeting and have little meaning, as they are for most of the population. However, as the depression deepens and the voice in your head turns more negative, the thoughts of death increase. The promise of peace becomes very alluring because you’re being hounded by thoughts of “You’re no good and will never amount to anything,” to “Go ahead—get it over with already!” 

The mantras swirl around so loudly in your head, that you can’t hear the good advice being given by friends and family. This is when depression is most dangerous. When you feel out of control, and the only thing you have left in your power, is your own death. 

If you, or someone you know, is battling suicidal thoughts, PLEASE reach out to the 988 Hotline. 

The 988 Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers, that provide free and confidential emotional support to anyone in suicidal crisis, or emotional distress.

It’s open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week across the United States. Just dial 988 and talk to someone… You are not alone!

There are many other symptoms for both mania and depression that we didn’t go over tonight, but we will cover each of these moods in depth in later episodes. 

 SFX Mail Box

Oh, that sound means we have mail! Let’s see what we’ve got. Sadly, we only have time for one note today…

SFX RUSTLING PAPERS

Here’s one. It’s a note from Ann in New York. She has an interesting question. She writes, “If you know you are in a depressive episode, doesn’t that make it easier to deal with?” Very good question Ann.

Actually, no. It doesn’t. The emotions are so strong that you are swept along by them, as a leaf is swept along by a raging river. You don’t realize you’re out of control until it’s too late, by then there is very little you can do about it. 

One thing that has helped me, is to learn the clues my body gives. For example, when I find my right leg bouncing uncontrollably, I know to watch for mania. Excessive horror movie binging? I watch out for depression. 

I have to admit that I wasn’t astute enough to figure these signals out for myself. I was lucky enough to have an engaged mother who taught me these signs. 

They were things that she noticed in my behavior. You don’t notice the flags when you are trying to keep yourself from drowning in despair. 

 It has taken me years to learn to be mindful of the hints my body gives, and I wouldn’t know to this day, if my mom hadn’t noticed them.  

If there is one thought that I can leave with you tonight, something to remember above all others, it’s this…  No matter what cycle you find yourself in; up, down or in between…  It Will Change! You just have to wait long enough—It Will Change! 

As night becomes the day, desperation will lift. And the log-rolling contest that is mania, will cease. It Will Change!

 So, what does all this have to do with rapid cycling? Well, you basically bounce between the two poles I just described, with all the symptoms associated with them, in quick succession. 

In some cases, you can be laughing and happy in one moment, and the next cry your heart out. It can happen that fast, however, you usually spend a few days, or weeks in each, and that’s still considered rapid. 

Almost 2.5% of the American population suffers from bipolar disorder—some 6 million people. Luckily, only 12-24% will experience rapid cycling.

Because symptoms of depression dominate in most people with rapid cycling, the emphasis becomes mood stabilization. Patterns of rapid cycling vary from person to person. Some people start out rapid cycling, while others it comes on gradually. 

Either way, rapid cycling can make it very difficult to function. This is a serious condition, for it can increase the likelihood of suicide. 

Some tips for dealing with rapid cycling would be, first and foremost, contact your doctor if you think you’re rapid cycling. They can make adjustments to your meds to help. Above all else, KEEP taking your meds!

Second, try and stay to your established schedule—go to bed at the same time, take meds at the same time and try to maintain your healthy eating patterns. 

Other things that can help, but may be hard to do:

1) Avoid alcohol and drugs, as these can make everything worse, and last, but not least… 

2) Talk to a close friend, or family member, about how you feel. Sometimes, just talking about it can relieve the pressure. If you have no one with whom to talk, I suggest journaling it all. Write it down. It’s out of your head that way!

Again, please contact us at bipolarforlife@myyahoo.com with any questions, tips or words of wisdom. Perhaps we’ll read yours on the air.

Please join me next week when our topic will be psychiatric hospitals. There is a great deal of confusion surrounding these institutions and I think we need to talk openly about them to dispel the stigma. Especially now that we have so many in need of help. 

That’s next week on Bipolar for Life. I’m your host, Wendy Foard, reminding you… It Will Change!